The man who brought us FarmVille and MafiaWars has been named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2010. Yes, the man that has made it possible for millions of users to waste millions and millions of hours searching for old “friends”, stalking ex-boyfriends, updating statuses about NOTHING, sharing trivial stories about EVERYTHING, and playing “games” we wouldn’t have played in the Pre-Atari era… has been named Person of the Year. Mark Zuckerberg, Time Magazine’s 2010 Person of the Year. Are you friggin kidding me?
Now don’t get me wrong. This list has pretty much gone the way of the dung heap in recent years. After all, last year the honor went to none other than Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke – preceded by President-Elect Barack Obama (’08), Vladimir Putin (’07), and You (’06). Yes, 2006 was “You” as in YOU – the people that create the content of the Internet. So I suppose the selection of Zuckerberg was simply an extension of a similar logic, since he is the man that has made it possible for YOU to waste hours online creating content with all 528 of your closest “friends” – that you haven’t actually seen or talked to in ages – or ever.
How about a little history of the award for some perspective?
The first “official” Man of the Year, as the honor was then labeled, went to Charles Lindbergh in 1927. You might have heard of him. He was the first man to fly solo across the Atlantic from New York to Paris. Others to have picked up the noble distinction through the years have included Mohandas Gandhi (’30), FDR (’34, ’41), Adolf Hitler (’38), Joseph Stalin (’39, ’42), Winston Churchill (’40, ’49), G.I. Joe (’50), JFK (’61), two Popes (’62, ’94), Young People (’66), The Middle Class (’69), US Women (’75), the Computer (’83), and Ronald Reagan (’80, ’83).
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Now add Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg to the list…
Again, are you friggin kidding me?
I understand that social networks like Facebook have gone a long way to interconnecting our society and societies around the globe. I have no doubt that without them, there would be a vast disconnect between and among citizens, communities, and even countries. I am quite sure that in their absence, we would still be crawling through the depths of the communication stone-age; that we would be forced to communicate via Archean means like snail-mail, the telephone, email, or dare I even say it? Face-to-face communication. We would, in fact, find ourselves in the middle of a full-blown communication crisis. How could we live in such a world of barren waste and silent destitute?
The same way we did for generations before this trite little amusement came along. I am quite certain that the world would get along just fine without hourly updates from “Crystal” telling the world to pray for snow so she doesn’t have to attend the church play; “Kenneth” describing how much #1234321 means to him, which celebrity “David” most resembles, how many Bejewels “Valerie” has earned, how many Mafia points “Jenn” has accumulated, how many barrels of corn “Penelope” shared with her “neighbor”, or how far “Misty” ran this morning via Nike whatever the hell its called.
I have no doubt that some of you will likely ask – Who would you like to see given such an honor? Who is worthy by your obviously high standards?
Why thank you for asking. That’s ever so kind. Let me see….
Oh I don’t know. The Tea Party perhaps?
In a year where Tea Party supporters took the streets, town halls, and public squares to bring about real change in Washington and around the country, why wouldn’t this past-its-prime periodical feature 2010′s greatest change-agent? What word or phrase was uttered more frequently in 2010 than Tea Party? And if you say “defriend”, “unfriend”, ”like”, or “dislike” don’t ever come back here and please go find some help. Recession was the only other acceptable answer there, so if you missed that one, dock yourself fifty “friends”, a bucket of squash, and Captain from your mob “Family.”
Don’t like my Tea Party suggestion?
Okay, how about Breast Cancer Survivors, the American Military, Relief Workers in Haiti, South Africans uniting around the World Cup, Soles4Souls, or Nothing But Nets? Or in the year of health care reform, how about the beacon of hope that is St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital? Hell, I’d even settle for Tim Tebow or Betty White.
And if a “computer” can take the prize (’83), how about Ford Motor Company for surviving the economic collapse – without a government bailout – and coming out on the other side stronger for the struggle as a testament to the Free Market System? For that matter, how about Capitalism? Democracy?
So, yes. I think this award is absolutely ridiculous. If I hadn’t already come to the conclusion that Time Magazine was absolutely worthless beyond being used as fire starter or to prop a shaky table, I’d be outraged. That said, I’m actually not at all surprised by this selection. I mean come on. This is the same magazine that proudly ran this cover in May of 2009 declaring Republicans an “Endangered Species.” So why would we expect more from them now? Why would we expect Time Magazine to acknowledge the very movement that made their former cover look so utterly foolish? Why would we expect them to choose a Tea Party that invigorated a political nation when they could choose a dude who became famous for creating Facebook – because he couldn’t manage to land a date?
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Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2010 – Mark Zuckerberg. Priceless.
Great post. I wonder how many collectivist Time has annointed in the past as Man of the Year as well? Totally agree with you on Facebook and Twitter for that matter – I don’t get the allure and fascination that borders on obsession with a lot of people.
The Tea Baggers didn’t invigorate a nation….they EMBARRASSED IT! They brought out a whole new level of hate-racism-anger and violence that was abysmal! They are a bunch of social misfits who need others like them to give them a home! Their anger is unfounded and irrational! The Baggers are an extension of the Republicans and are the faction that says all the ugliness the Republicans would like to say! The Baggers are the Republican’s evil twin!